Sister Maria Friedman grew up in a small village in western Iowa, one of eight children who lived to adulthood. Tragically, her father died when Sister Maria was just three years old, after he had suffered at home with colon cancer for two long years. Sister Maria does not remember him, but there is sadness around the fact that she never knew her dad.
Although things were difficult, her mother was a “solid” person, according to Sister Maria, and she never complained. But somehow Sister Maria felt the need to be responsible. For example, her younger sister had a leg infection which kept her one leg from growing at a normal rate, leaving that leg four inches shorter than the other. Her sister was not able to run easily, but Sister Maria willingly played with her all the time. That is the first time she remembers feeling the joy of kindness.
To this day, Sister Maria will often seek out situations where she can show kindness, and at the end of the day, evaluate how she did. But she repeatedly states, “Just because I try to be kind doesn’t mean I see myself as a kind person.”
Balancing her sense of responsibility, Sister Maria found joy and energy in her love of beauty and creativity. She remembers a Catholic Sister music teacher in high school who enkindled in her a love of music. Even though this teacher was very opinionated and could get angry at times, Sister Maria was not bothered by this. She loved her and the wide range of things that she and her fellow students were being exposed to. This teacher even encouraged and prepared her rural students to attend classical music performances. Sister Maria remembers that she and her three girlfriends were so excited, and got all dressed up to attend these events. Sister Maria also grew to love opera. She remembers that as a young teacher in a small town in Wisconsin, she and another sister played one record featuring an opera over and over again. Her love of opera continues to this day.
Literature is another form of beauty and creativity that enthralls Sister Maria. Even though she was a history major in college, she taught some English and liked it. She volunteered to teach more English, and was assigned to a large high school to teach American Literature full time, even though she had never taken an American Literature class. She loved it!
Sister Maria remembers that one of the greatest joys of her life began when she joined a Great Books club at the local library, and subsequently, other book clubs. And it is not just books that Sister Maria loves, but words and trivia as well. She has become an avid Scrabble player and trivia aficionado. As she explained, “Relationally, book clubs and word games have always been energizing for me. I find that I love relational opportunities around things I like to do.” And many of the people she has met through these groups and other group activities have become long-term friends who continue to lift her spirit.
Along the line, when Sister Maria was still teaching, she began to write hilarious skits and programs for our FSPA community gatherings. It got so that people would start laughing even before the program began, as various sisters appeared on stage in their funny costumes and roles. Laughter is important to Sister Maria. She reflected that people are often too serious. While she doesn’t consider herself a funny person, what she writes often makes people laugh. And she has had plenty opportunity to do that writing, in her roles as FSPA Communications director, and where she wrote a daily email column featuring informal news and commentary about happenings in the community.
When asked what wisdom she would like to share with our readers, Sister Maria said this: “What is, is, and it’s good. I’m OK with that. I live in the moment. All the goodness around me gives me a sense of satisfaction.”
About Wells of Wisdom
As many more women religious in the United States are entering their 70s, 80s, and 90s, women’s communities are realizing what a wealth of wisdom there is among us. It is too rich to be ignored. So in “Wells of Wisdom," author Sister Karen Lueck features a Franciscan Sister of Perpetual Adoration in her golden years who is willing to share some of her wisdom with a world desperately in need of it.